From lovers to once again strangers (final part)

Out of nowhere, you feel like not texting each other straight away and spending hours without talking to each other doesn’t seem that bad. “Oh that’s fine I’ll call him back later. It shouldn’t be important” while catching up with a friend whereas before, you would have texted him saying that you would ring him when you can.

What’s going on? You now lead a monotonous relationship and it becomes so much that being away from each other for a while would seem like a relief. You start moaning about him to your friends and he does the same to his. Things have become rocky between you two. You barely talk of things that excite you and don’t do things for two any more. If you do it’s because you feel obliged to. You then become distant…

It almost becomes too much to bare now.

But, what about everything you’ve built together? The memories? The silly photographs taken on a holiday to Sounion in Greece? Are you just going to let them vanish like that?

Truth is neither of you is willing to put in an effort any more. Both of you want your way out because you are tired of that monotonous life together. You seek something new, you miss the independent life you once led. Or maybe, you just wish you were somewhere else away from each other. So yes, you are willing to give up on everything you had, on everything you built together.

All of the sudden, those moments don’t seem to be worth a lot. You become a nuisance in each other’s sight. Not because you don’t love each other, but because you grew tired of the routine. The same-same, the familiar, the comfort zone.

You confine your frustrations and doubts with your closest friends. What to do? You still love him, no doubt in that! But is this relationship healthy? Does he feel the same as you? Admit it, you’ve become saturated!

You are both suffering with this whole situation, until the day when you know what you have to do – to have that conversation.

And the rest, we can all guess how it goes!

You see, people change! Not always the feelings necessarily, just how we are around people, in different situations, generally just how we live our lives. Some seek the new all the time, while others well, they just change. As the changes take place, it may lead to actions which then affect the relationship.

Sometimes, it gets too much that both cannot simply cope and then the inevitable happens – the break up. Some may see it as a relief point while others suffer with this decision.

Eventually, both part different ways and you doubt you will stay friends with him even though you both agreed to keep in contact as there was no drama, bad blood or any third party involved.

At first it feels weird – what about those butterflies, those so waited texts messages? Those late night long conversations on the phone or even when you were in a relationship already, all the memories. The cheesy chick flicks you made him watch with you? The long walks with your dog whom he adopted as his already. Where all that go?

You cry, you’re in pain and he probably is too! But you just assume his partying up celebrating the good riddance of you. But is not true! He just has a different way of dealing with all this. (fb statuses)

You still have each other on Facebook, hoping neither of you will get into a new relationship any time soon. You still love him as much as he loves you but at the same time you feel as a breeze of fresh air being away from him. Maybe a break up was too drastic?

Too late, it has been done! So slowly both of you start to move on. He goes off on a all boys holiday somewhere in Spain and so do you with your girl friends. Only that to be different, you choose Italy instead. You know of this because he’s been tagged on his friends’ photos. Deep down you worry he might have met someone and even the thought of him having a holiday fling haunts you.

At that point you haven’t heard nor seen him for months. And you’re okay with it. But there are times when you are tidying up your things and you come across with a few polaroid photos of you two here in this very apartment, having a relaxed night in, acting silly. Suddenly, being in the comfort of your home and doing nothing especial doesn’t feel that bad.

You also find his shirt which still smells of him, that scent you were once addicted to. Remember? You suddenly remember his strong and muscular embrace, sleeping in his arms while having your head comfortably rested on top of his chest. Glued to the shirt is one of those silly post-it notes he left before he went to work one day where he says he loves you. Does he still?

This thought quickly leaves your mind as you shake your head and put all these in a box. You name it “memories”. Your dog looks at you and knows that look in your face, he too misses him.

But maybe he doesn’t even think of you any more. Maybe he met someone and is living those same moments you once did, with someone else…Maybe still hurts you more than you think.

Then, it comes to a point when you are not even friends any more, not even on Facebook. Why would you? It’s not like you’re still in contact. Matter of fact, the last time you’ve spoken was during the few weeks after your break up, perhaps only out of courtesy.

But then not even Facebook any more? You even have that third cousin you never met on Facebook, so why don’t you have him any more?

Maybe it’s a sign that you should definitely start afresh now. So your best friend, tired of seeing you down, sets you up with someone. You go out on a few dates with few guys. You are becoming yourself again. He’s becoming a distant memory now. And if must, you allow yourself to have some flings but not entirely ready for a relationship for whatever reason it might be – lack of time, lack of motivation, not up for it, cannot be bothered…

The problem is not the guys you meet, you’ve actually met very nice guys who are boyfriend material. But you just can’t be bothered. Time has made you lazy. So whenever you feel like things are getting serious with someone, you back out from it. You feel as it still doesn’t feel completely right with anyone you have met recently.

Then one day, without even expecting it, you accidentally bump into each other at a café on a Sunday morning, one of those where you used to go together. Remember those days? It came flashing right back at you, didn’t it? Right as you once again cross in each other’s paths after 10 months without seeing each other… That’s almost a year, wow you cannot believe it either!

He haven’t changed much, but you in the other hand…You did, oh so much growing up you went through! You thought you had moved on from him, in fact you were doing well not seeing him. But then he had to show up in front of you again, didn’t he? Just to mess it all up once again!

Just once, that’s all it took – to see him once again and that’s it, your knees have gone weak, your heart skipped a beat and everything you taught yourself during that moving on phase just evaporated puff!

But what about him? What is he thinking as he stands right in front of you? He looks surprised, no doubt about that but what else? As far as you know, he has moved on and who knows if he has a lady waiting for him just outside in the car? It can’t be, can it?

You then slip a few words out first “Hi! Long time no see” in which he replies “Hello stranger! How are you doing? Long time indeed”

During that 6 minute catch up, you both quickly fill each other in with not so much interesting facts about yourselves during those last 10 months. “Nothing much just the usual, work, a bit of socialising and just living the life really!” one of you say. Funny though, how neither of you dare to ask if either have met someone already? Maybe it’s not correct on your first meeting after this long to jump straight to the question.

But really? Why didn’t you ask? It’s not like you’re not curious, right? Or you’re still not prepared for the answer?

As you say your goodbye because you just don’t know how to act any more or simply forgot how to be you, you give him a quick awkward yet longing hug with a “nice seeing you” and then you slowly walk away. He then gently calls out your name…you stop there and then! Deep down, you were hoping it would happen or that something would happen that would stop you from walking out that door without having the guarantee that you will see him again..

But why is he calling out for you? A thousand thoughts run into your mind at 200 mph. You slightly turn your head around to face him, he suggests that you should meet up sometime when you’re both free, for a good catch up. Even though you know you shouldn’t, you still smile and say yes! You then respond in a slightly cheeky manner: “You still have my number don’t you?” 

Once out of the café, you feel a tingling feeling inside, you’re not sure where it comes from. The butterflies you believed were retired a long time ago have now returned and you don’t know why but everything you felt when you first met, is coming back again. Being away from him does not feel like a relief any more but as a punishment…

So, question – have the feelings actually vanished? Or were they just asleep? Note that in this tale, a lot can happen within xyz years – they were once strangers, they met, they were deeply involved and in love with each other and then, they allowed themselves become strangers again but not quite.

They have certainly left a great impact in each other’s lives. So much so that it changed them completely and even when meeting again after all that time, they cannot act indifferent to everything they lived together. This may mean that their story might never have an end. Or it may mean that they are not meant for each other and their story was never meant to happen.

In my opinion, if you’re still friends with your ex, it can mean two things only – Either the feelings are still there or they were never there at all!

I’ll leave you to decide on the ending of this tale.

My own ending will just be kept open because if it’s meant to be, it will simply beBesides a true love story is nothing without some big bumpy rides. ;)

“Happiness will follow…”

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From lovers to once again strangers (part 2 – revised)

After a magnificent lunch date with your best friend, you realise how lucky you are at that point of time; everything is going perfectly well in your life! You have the most amazing supportive family and friends, a best friend who is more of a sister to you and this life is better than one could ever ask for. Plus you just met this really great guy who has all the potential to be The One.

The weekend is coming to an end. You don’t really mind as you have more things to look forward to. Your mood improves and your positive vibes are contagious among all those around you! You become a better company for everyone. No one or nothing can put you down, well except for maybe your boss!

You are glowing and spreading happiness everywhere you go and you tip your favourite coffee shop with £3 instead of £1. During the week, you constantly keep in contact with each other – either via texts, phone calls, Facebook, WhatsApp and occasionally Skype during an evening or two. You two are now flirting more and more with each other and send random WhatsApp images of coffee, cloudy skies, his frown face on a morning traffic, food you each had that day, your boss grumpy face from afar, you name it.

Then Friday arrives, you are about to end a conversation with a group of your closest friends on Skype. You were talking about the outfit for tonight. They were very helpful and you managed to successfully pick on a casual yet neat outfit to wear for your second date.

He texts you saying that he has just got off work and that he looks forward to seeing you. He also lets you know that he will just take a quick shower and he will be on his way to pick you up. You get excited and by then you are already half way ready. Of course, because women tend to take a bit longer to get ready, just a bit…

He texts you again letting you know he is just leaving the house on his way to yours. What a gentleman! You think to yourself as you wink to your dog. You text back with a short okay and a smiley face alongside an x. One last text from your best friend wishing you a great time with a cheeky message saying “tonight is the night to lock lips. Love youuu! xxx”. You laugh it off and thank her with a ♥.

The butterflies in your stomach are growing stronger, you know he will soon be here. And then, the bell rings… you stop breathing for 2 seconds. Your dog is already at the door before you and barks, acknowledging that it’s him, the potential Mr. Right.

You check yourself for the last time in the mirror just by the entrance door, adjust your black dress to its appropriate place and make your way to open the door with a big smile. He smiles back at you and you greet each other with a hug and a kiss on the cheek. This time with more confidence. He meets your four-paw friend for the first time and they immediately become friends. Voilà, you got your dog’s approval.

You prepared some snacks and wine for both of you before you leave for your night. As you pour him a glass of wine, you ask how was his day even though you already know from the hundreds of text and images exchanged earlier in the day. You chat away for a good 35 minutes and honestly you would have been quite happy to just stay at home and watch a movie or something. Or something, right? But neither of you dare to say anything so you just go along with the initial plan.

Another perfect night only that this time there has been results. The French kiss happens and what’s best of all? He initiates it, just like in the movies you watch with your single girl friends since the break down of your last relationship up until a few weeks ago. Those were the ladies nights when you used to sob and wonder why you were still single and if there was something wrong with you. Almost two years it lasted. It actually felt longer, didn’t it? It feels like you forgot how to kiss, how to embrace a lover or even how to be a woman. At that point of time, you reached the stage of “it’s Winter, I’m single therefore I’m not going to shave my legs and down there”. But not tonight.

Tonight you bam all your looks out! You made sure every single bit of your body was clean and smooth just like a newborn baby’s skin feels like. Nothing feels great as a confident, beautiful woman and that’s who you are tonight.

He approaches for that so long waited encounter of lips, he feels confident to do so because you spent the entire night throwing hints that you are ready and willing. He got a bit confused few times as he was not quite sure if it meant he had the green light for a kiss or you were just playing.

But as he drops you at your front door, he finally gets the message – the long gaze you give him right into his eyes accompanied by a secure smile. That’s his cue, and he goes for it!

As he leans closer towards your way, your eyes lock on each other and both of you then close them for that passionate vavavoom French kiss. While it goes on, you firmly stroke his hair and he affectionately strokes your face. No need to plan or read any books about it, it just comes naturally to you. You were so nervous about kissing someone again that just the thought of it made you shiver. How silly of you! It feels longer than it lasts but then both of you were eager to kfind out each other’s reaction. Normal!

Both of you then gaze at each other and smile. That went well did it not? It went so well that you spend another hour or so in his car “saying goodnight”, if you know what I mean…

But then, as a woman that you are, once in bed, you start to wonder “so are we official now? Are we dating or just seeing each other? What is happening?”, and remember when you said you did not want to rush into things? Of course you don’t remember! Rationality has officially left your mind.

He then texts you saying that he is thinking about you and the kiss and wish the night would still last. How sweet!

You text him back, saying that you cannot wait to see him again and then put some extra x’s at the end. Just in case he forgot how much you are into him. After that, you text straight away to your best friend, with a short message “Yep it happened xxx” in which she would reply back “What happened????? xxx”

Since you were not very specific on your text, you just make her not sleep and wonder what happened. You don’t respond back because you are too busy reminiscing on that kiss for hours and hours and hours.

So, you two become an item, the real deal, boyfriend and girlfriend and you even change the status on Facebook, having many likes and well wishes. He meets your friends and you meet his. His best friend from high school days approves of you. He assures you that he’s only heard good things about you and your beau would not introduce him anyone unless she is a keeper. You smile upon hearing that, because there’s nothing more reassuring that knowing you’ve been talked about by the guy you like to his best friend.

Then it comes the time to meet the family. He only has an older brother, 3 years older to be exact. He too has a girlfriend and you know this because he filled you in on that since the four of you are about to go on a double date. An Italian restaurant is picked by the brothers, for being their favourite since they remember. The night comes, you’re a bit apprehensive in regards to everything happening so fast. You have not had time to catch a breath. Every day there’s something going and every day, a new step is taken forward in your relationship. You ignore the sign and you go ahead anyway.

He comes to pick you up at the usual time. You slip a worrying comment before driving off: “What if they don’t like me?”. He replies back with this inviting smile and reassuring gaze: “They don’t have to..what really matters is what I feel about you!”.

At the restaurant, they have not arrived. Your beau notices you are restless so he calms you down by giving you a quick peck on the lips and his warm hand tenderly caressing your face. They arrived and are pleased to meet you. They have been charmed by you and your down to earth personality. Your relationship with them starts from there…

It’s all good and jolly! Days passes by and you are still at the honeymoon stage. And then the three magic words, eight letters slip out – “I love you”. It doesn’t really matter who says it first, you both feel the same, that’s what’s important!

You start to plan travelling together. And then you actually travel together, mini short breaks here and there and cute gifts for Valentine Day and romantic dates. You both settle a favourite destination – Venice, Italy. And things under the sheets also couldn’t go better. Lots and lots of photos of you two together, selfies, group snaps with friends and on social events.

And when your first anniversary comes by, oh my! Maybe you celebrate it with a romantic trip to Paris or Venice again? Champagne and bonbons with expensive gifts to each other. And of course a sexy surprise at the end of the night in a very fancy hotel room. I mean this marks your first year together after all!

But then more time passes by and you start to allow yourselves to fall into the trap of the comfort zoneBad mistake but common!

(To be continued…)

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From lovers to once again strangers (Part 1)

Dear all,

How was your weekend?

Mine was very relaxed spent with family on Saturday and then Sunday all day with my friends.

Today being Monday, I’ve started slow today! It’s like a force of gravity have taken over my body and has pulled me down onto my bed, forcing me to have a cheeky lie in…

I now am up, and because I have worked some extra hours in the past 3 weeks covering for sick leaves and whatnot, I decided to give myself the morning off.

While contemplating  this extra time in my bed, I think to myself – why not post a post? Today, I’ve been inspired to touch in a rather sensible subject – L’Amour.

Who doesn’t like to be in love? I do!

Given my less than 10 years experience in the field (I had my first innocent crush/date at the age of 14), I’d say that I am doing okay dealing with the first glance/meet/flirt/date/relationship/possibly heart breaks. Now, being in a happy relationship with my beau best friend I don’t think I can get anything better than that! ;)

From our very heart-to-heart conversation with my girlfriends and my most personal life guru Romo, I reflected back from my past experiences and of those close to me.

May I suggest that we humans are complicated? Both men and women.

Here’s a tale of a random love story gone wrong. It might reflect on your experience, on a friend’s experience or anyone’s experience. I have based this on my personal story with a few scenarios from friends’ lives too. So enjoy! :)

It’s all rainbows and sunshine when first catching each other’s eye, the flirtatious glances exchanged in a discreet manner. Being at work, train station or at a common friend’s party. We all start more or less in the same way.

The exchanged of the very first words to each other; something like “Hi! Terrible weather today isn’t it?”. Even acting coy is considered somewhat cute when first meeting that someone.

And then, swapping numbers. Oh can you remember all those butterflies then? Wait, my mistake! It might not be swapping numbers yet…does adding each other on Facebook come first? Or the other way round? Well, it doesn’t matter, either way we all play a bit of Sherlock Holmes once we have that special someone on our friends’ list. Come on, no shame on that, we all do it!

And then the first text/message comes. Your phone goes off or that little red notification light comes up on your inbox, it’s him! Yes, it must be him because you’re playing coy remember? Either that, or you’re just not confident enough to make that first step. You don’t want to make yourself look too available either, so you wait 20 minutes to 1 hour to reply back. Meanwhile, he might be courageous enough to like one of your photos or your most recent status. You’re online then but offline on chat, so you silently celebrate since he took a bit of his time to spend on your profile. Now it’s time, you should reply back so you do and the conversation easily flows from there.

You both joke around at the same time as discussing about our current political situation in the country. You may share the same opinion about the present Prime Minister or you may disagree on a few things, it does not matter. To look smart in front of him, you Google a random fact you think no one knows and share it with him, he says “Oh really?”.

After two or three days on it, there comes the time when one of you suggest an activity to do together or simply a coffee meeting. From then on, you become inseparable. Even when you’ve told yourself that you want to take things slow, not rush into anything and only see him during weekends, but it’s too late! You have the urge to see him every day just like you talk to him every single day now. And you haven’t even realised how caught up you are in him!

You hope the feeling is mutual.

Before you know it, you find yourself picking out an outfit for your real date with him already! I mean, it cannot just be anything, it has to be the right outfit. You spend hours and hours in search for it, annoying your girl friends, sister or even dog if you have to, to help you on this task! Even going out to buy something new, if must. But then you wash it, because you don’t want him to know you bought it especially for the occasion either. So you lie when he compliments you on your dress, blouse or your outfit altogether, you would say “Oh I had this for a while now just thought I’d use tonight”.

He looks quite smart himself too! You can tell he put an effort tonight, but you just don’t want to embarrass him by point it out. He comes near you and gives you a hug and a kiss on your cheek. You can smell him and some of it rubs onto you. You just cannot get enough of his cologne, his signature scent. The one you remember him by when you go to sleep at night. In fact, you might have started to get addicted to it. You slip out a comment “You smell nice!”. Yes because complimenting him on his outfit might just sound weird. Still, you want to compliment him somehow, so you mention that the colour of his sweater goes well with his hazel eyes. He timidly smirks at you and your heart just melts.

Perfect date! Couldn’t have gone better. You were nervous at first, trying your best to not mess it up, not spilling anything on your outfit or even holding back to not say anything dumb. But he puts you at ease throughout the night. Without even realising it, he allows you to simply be yourself! Two of you are having such a great time that neither have realised how late it has gotten. Its’s close to 1am already so you think it will be better to call it a night even though you just wish the night would never end. You just don’t want to give it all away on one night so you tell a white lie “I better go now as I have to wake up early morning to run some house errands”. No matter how silly you knew that sounded, given that the next day would be Sunday and people do nothing on Sundays, he acknowledges that. Such an easy-going character of his!

So, you say your good night and let each other know how much fun you had and agree to do it again some other time.

Both of you get home, you get ready for bed but you are so distracted and over the moon that you mistake your make-up remover for your toner. Silly you! Once in bed, your phone beeps, but it’s not him. It’s your best friend asking how it went, you realised you are still too overwhelmed with everything and you have to calm down now so you text her back saying that you’ll fill her in everything tomorrow over lunch and that you love her with a smiley face and xo’s.

You are also worried because there’s no text from him. But there’s no need for that, he didn’t want to sound too pushy so he didn’t text you. The very next day, at 10am, you hear your phone beeping again. It’s your best friend confirming she’s stopping by to pick you up for your girlie lunch date. Yet, no sign of him. You confirm everything with her and chuck your phone on the bed frustrated. You go and snuggle your dog for comfort and start creating your own crazy scenarios in your own head.. 25 minutes later, again the phone beeps and yes, it is him!

He says how much he enjoyed last night, and asks how you slept and if you have any plans for today. Again, you let a few minutes pass because you don’t want to sound desperate even though deep down you know he wouldn’t care. In fact, men are oblivious about these stuff. It is us women who over think and over plan everything. You say to yourself “About 15 minutes, should sound right”  and then you reply with a text which reads something like:

“Morning! :) Yes, I enjoyed last night too, it was so much fun! Shame it ended so quickly.. We should definitely do it again soon! Nothing much for today, just doing my morning errands and then taking it easy. ;) How about you? x”

Again, you have to confirm the white lie from last night in your text instead of letting him know you almost caught fire to your house of that much frustration you were feeling because you didn’t hear from him straight away. But don’t worry, your dog knows the truth!

You spend 1-2 hours texting each other – while eating breakfast, getting ready, taking the dog out, re-arranging your bed side table… And between all that, you finally arrange a second date. The date or time does not really matter this time because all you care about is spending more time together. You realise you’re late for your lunch date with your best pal because she texts you saying she’s outside waiting for you. You rush finish getting ready, grab your things and apologise upon meeting her in the car and you might lie about the reason you’re late because you’re scared she might get offended or she fears being replaced by a guy. Something like “my dog was being stubborn when I took him out for a walk this morning”… Poor dog!

You two catch up on everything that happened this weekend and you barely ask her about her life, because you know it already. She has a very stable life with a very stable relationship. Besides you WhatsApp/call each other constantly so nothing major must have changed since then.

Instead you just go on and on and on about this guy even though she’s heard it a thousand times before already. But that’s okay because you did the same for her when she first met her boyfriend. That’s what friends are for! She is happy for you but does warn you to not rush into things because she doesn’t want to see you get hurt. You say you have everything under control, but truth is – you don’t really!

To be continued…

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Artist of the day: Mike Deere

Dear all,

Here’s something a friend of mine shared with me yesterday.

I literately spent a good 25 minutes admiring each photo of this explorer/photographer, named Mike Deere on his project Sense of Place; and a good hour and something minutes on his entire blog.

Very few photographers manage to capture the simplicity of places and/or things and turn ‘em into something big. Mr Deere here shows exactly that – his photos are humble, artistic and has an unique touch to them!

Places like these although hidden and unusual may be overlooked (or avoided!) and at times even taken for granted. I’d even say that these are the places I would only imagined as being created by the Hollywood film studios. You know, those sort of places you can find in action/horror/sci-fi movies you watch on the screen because they are simply unreal! Moreover, these places in their own greatness reminds us again of how “small” we become when facing them.

Hard to put them in words and you must be thinking and quite right, that I’m struggling to express myself here. Oh well, I guess this is not really important as what matters is how we each feel when seeing these photos!

So herewith some taster of what he does and does very well. If these photos can too mesmerize you, then I can say that I’ve already won the day!

 DerelictionMore from source here

AdventurersMore from source here

Sense of Place3
More from source here

Doesn’t it just lure you to find and be in these places? For being so secluded, almost so out of reach? It certainly has this effect on me. :)

“Happiness will follow…”

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Back to the routine

Dear all,

How was your Easter break? Hope it was great!

Mine was fabulosa! Simply because I got to spend it at my home sweet home, in Portugal. :)

So I flew back home for a week for a well deserved break with my dear ones. Cannot believe how time flies over there, especially spending every single day out and about, it felt like I wasn’t gone for long…

But as they say “good things must come to an end” so has my short break. Meh! But oh how I enjoyed it!

Most of my spending money has gone to food. Portuguese food is another level of delicious! Especially on festive seasons such as Christmas or Easter. Due to religious beliefs as being a very Catholic country, Portuguese families go through what we call the Quaresma em Jejum (40 days of Lent Period) when it lasts for the whole 40 days commencing on Wednesday Ash Day and ending on Easter day when Christians remember the death of Jesus Christ.

I’m not going into much details so I’m just going to highlight the basics. During this time, food consumption is reduced to smaller portions or even having their meals cut to once a day (usually for the evening meal) in order to repent and focus on praying and meditating Jesus’ last journey in the desert where he went through the Devil’s temptation up until his death.

There’s a tendency to avoid the consumption of meat and vegetables on Portuguese tables which is considered to be a luxurious treat. Instead, only fish, bread and water are allowed during the Lent period. Reason being that this is the period when Christians live in a more humble lifestyle, in penitence of one’s own faults and sins.

At our home, it is more simple and not as hard since my mum is a strict vegetarian anyway and she often frowns upon seeing either meat or fish in her fridge. We then stick to our vegetarian regime and only I and the auntie and uncle who are staying at ours would eat fish, but only once a day. I (sort of) started my own Lent regime in the UK (with many failed days of eating more than I should) and then carried on when I arrived in Portugal on Good Friday, only that that time I followed my mum’s regime instead.

As the Lent period finished on Easter Day, you can just imagine what I ate from then on… I dived in all the goodies I could find – BitoqueBacalhau no Forno, Peixe Espada Grelhado, Feijoada, Carapau GrelhadoBolo de Arroz, etc etc.

I know, I know, I am now paying for my own greed by being extra careful with what I eat now and going 4 x a week to the gym. Everything was so worthwhile though that I am actually still feeling mellow for being back to the UK.

Lisboa

Sintra

Every time I go to Portugal, I feel like I’m a different person – I’m more relaxed, easy going and errrm slow? Let me explain – life here in the UK it’s a bit rushed, well maybe except for the weekends. But even now, I feel like I always have things to do during weekends. Not in Portugal, where I take my own time to get to places, do my things. Maybe it’s a Portuguese thing?

I feel as if there’s a whole different aura surrounding me, the environment is definitely different from what I am used to here in UK. Even the people, the way they lead their lives, it’s very laid back.

Drivesunset

While being there, I enjoy my “loner time” too - time when I just stop to take everything in and just appreciate being home. Now, whenever I go back I definitely don’t take it for granted! I would spare a few hours when I’d go off on my own with the car and just relax by the beach or places where I grew up in, just reminiscing everything.

Another new thing I got to try was to add different fruits to my morning smoothies. Though I’m not a big fan of any tropical fruits, my mum managed to convince me to add papaya onto my smoothie. It didn’t taste bad but unfortunately I won’t be able to do it as often here in the UK as we seldom have fresh and organic papaya or many other tropical fruits in our supermarkets. Could try in our local markets though, fingers crossed I’ll be able to find something.

As many are aware, avocados are not my favourite fruit either however I’m aware of its nutritional content so I’ve made it as my must have ingredient in my smoothie. Thankfully, we have an avocado tree along with orange and lemon trees in our backyard. This enables me to save some extra money on buying fruits.

Since young, I’ve always loved climbing trees and still do! Modesty aside, I am very good at it. Hihi! So, every morning I’d climb the tree and pick an avocado and an orange for my smoothie. Not that it even needs climbing as it’s not very high anyway, but just for the sake of the old times, I’d do it! ;) In terms of taste, I found a significant difference between the taste of the avocado from the supermarket (where I usually buy here) and freshly picked from the tree.

They definitely taste much better than the ones bought in the supermarkets and you can tell they are naturally produced as well. Our oranges are smaller and more sour than the ones found in the supermarkets where we can often find them bigger, bright in orange colour and very sweet. Might be due to not being completely ripe yet but mum says that tree of ours does not produce sweet oranges anyway. Nonetheless, they are still natural! ;)

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I then just add other fruits/veggies bought by my mum such as mango, apple, papaya spinach and cucumber.

After that I always spent the day out and about. Whether locally, by the beach or meeting and catching up with friends or just exploring the beautiful Lisbon city and Sintra. I’ve been a few nights out as well in Bairro Alto, Lisbon, a very popular place to go out at night and Marina de Cascais, popular among  the people who live across the coastal line, like myself.

I also made sure I had a bit of time to go shopping too, of course! :) Clothes in Portugal are cheaper than in UK so I bought myself some jeans, shorts, dresses and sandals.

On my last day, I spent it between Carcavelos (my hometown) and Lisbon with friends as mum was busy with her own things. At night my friends and I went to Chiado for an evening meal and then to Terreiro do Paço to watch an amazing 3D video mapping show.

My friends, mum and auntie and uncle from Melbourne, Australia (they have come to Portugal for personal business and holiday and are staying at ours) have contributed for this holiday to be memorable, as always. And for that, I feel blessed and grateful every single day! ^.^

Now that I am back, I’m still finding it a challenge to force my body to get back to the routine. But little by little, I’m sure my body will get used to it again. Good thing is that I am now reunited with my four-paw bff Lance. How I missed him! And apparently he was struggling not having me around, bless…

My house mate has said that he would spend hours in my room waiting for my return. It really broke my heart when I heard this. But I promised him I will spend more time with him during these next few days.

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That’s it from me today. Have a lovely rest of the week!

“Happiness will follow…”

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Officially “facebookless”

Dear all,

Such a beautiful day today, isn’t it? Sun shining days always put me in a good mood, even when I come across with many not so happy people. But then, I just take a deep breath and think “I’m not the problem, they are” and I go back smiling. :)

Here’s some positive intro for you guys! Now moving on to the subject today – Facebook.

Funny how my relationship with this social website works: it’s more of a complicated love-hate relationship. I love to hate Facebook at the same time that I hate to love it too!

I am not going to lie, Facebook is somewhat a life-saver for many, me included. As much as I adore Skype and WhatsApp, sometimes you just want to have a place where you can read friends and family’s lives, see what they are up to, how they are doing, etc. Seems like it gets harder by day for friends and family to update you with the happenings in their life either via Skype or WhatsApp. Easy would be for them to just post statuses or photographs for their friends and family to see what they are up to.

And I totally agree – it is convenient in many levels! However, not everything in and with Facebook it’s a bed of roses and there’s one thing, one major thing that worries me the most when using Facebook – my privacy.

I am no celebrity or nothing of that sort, far from that, whenever possible I like to lead my life away from the curious eyes of my neighbours, so to speak. So, privacy it’s a big deal for me! And I must admit, I am guilty to still keep those curious and not much of true and caring friends in my Facebook friends list. Not because I want to have a good number of friends on my Facebook, oh no. Only because whether I like it (them) or not, I still have to keep ‘em as my acquaintances, for many different reasons. (Look what society has done to us? All of us have been confined to keeping up with the appearances…)

And it would just make my life a lot more awkward when running into them and having to be confronted with the fact that I don’t have them on Facebook. It happened to me a couple of times and it was indeed awkward, that type of let-me-dig-a-hole-so-I-can-bury-my-head awkward. I mean, what would your response be for that? It’s not like they’ve done anything that can be considered wrong against me. They simply are nosy about my life and minding it as if what’s their own business. Like I gave them the right to have an opinion about my life and I forgot about it. And of course, making it as a conversation topic with their “neighbours” and so forth. What’s the name again? Gossip? I think so. This doesn’t make them bad people, just makes me want to avoid them… forever!

So, let’s name this whole situation a bureaucracy (overcomplicating it) for now.

You can argue that I could avoid that if I simply don’t post things on Facebook. And I agree,  this would be an option however I still want to update and share the happy moments with my (true) friends and family too! Just like they do with me on Facebook! I mean that’s what Facebook it’s all about, right? I enjoy posting random things, photographs of me and friends partying it up, without being labelled a wild child by some people and this whole thing getting to my mother’s ears (oh yeah I used to hide a few posts from my mother too!).

You could also say that I shouldn’t mind about what other people think or say about me. I don’t really, what bothers me is what I have to deal with after it has been put out there. Let me explain it better – I have many “friends” who are my mother’s friends’ children. We kind of shared a bit of common growing up environment for a while, hence having to be friends with them on Facebook.

They see something, they mention it to their friends whom I also sort of know and to their parents. I see the parents when I’m out with my mum, I greet them and they make me a topic conversation there, on the spot! Something like “Oh my daughter has mentioned that she’s seen you with a handsome guy not long ago” when all the daughter did was to see a photo of me with a male friend all aquafresh smiles on Facebook. But you know, people twist their words and who tells a tale, always adds a tail. So of course, my mum not knowing about this, and mind you she’s very Asian, once I get home she starts questioning me like a true CSI detective.

If you have an Asian mother, you would know that no matter what you say, even if it’s truer than the truth, she still won’t believe you. She will always find it more credible what that friend said and this might be due to the fact that I have limited her access to some of my posts on Facebook.. And yes, it then becomes a hassle for me. Therefore, privacy on Facebook is everything!

Especially now that she feels like she needs to be more involved in my life (more like my love life) and she feels like I am keeping her in the dark about and I quote “the most important aspects in your life, like love”. I do that, yes because my mother is Asian, she goes with the tick box system. And I am not like that at all!

Coming back to the subject, I always had to worry about my Facebook privacy settings. To the point that whenever Facebook goes through its usual changing phases, I always make sure I read the policy and updates to see if anything changed regarding to its privacy.

Last makeover it had? Well, that was a joke! Yeah it completely messed the system up! I don’t know what happened there but I was completely fine with the previous Facebook and quite frankly I saw no major changes on it now compared to the previous version. Only that it has placed some features in the other side of the screen. Oh yeah and completely messed all my privacy settings up!

I don’t know about you guys, but I was not able to select the audience for my individual posts any more, which I have been doing so far, given my situation at that time of being obliged to keep those curious people on my Facebook. Again, the whole thing where I decided to name it as bureaucracy.

And trust me, I spent a lot of time putting my privacy settings right and it just goes back to showing it to everyone! How messed up is that??

So I went That’s it! with Facebook and just deactivated my account. It’s easier right? I now can respond back saying “Oh I deleted my Facebook” to those curious eyes. The only but, of course is that it won’t be as easy to share moments with friends and family as it was before. Or even communicate with few friends since not all use Skype or WhatsApp.

I’m sure I’ll come back to it though, because as much as I hate it, I also love it so once they sort the mess up and put the privacy settings back on again, then I’ll re activate it again.

That’s it from me today!

“Happiness will follow…”

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Happy Birthday Sarofski!!!!

Happy birthday to one of my oldest friends Sara R B!!! <|:) Not because she’s old but because we’ve been friends for years! haha

Unfortunately, I’m not able to celebrate with her today however we have plans for a late celebration in two weeks, taking over the Cascais night scene in style!

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From my end, I’ll be celebrating her birthday by enjoying Boyce Avenue’s concert tonight. ;)

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Engineered Engineer

Dear all,

Just want to take this opportunity to honour a very special someone who was, has been and will still be very important in my life – Kevin O P.

He is officially an Engineer now! :))) My heart is truly filled with joy and pride for this kind-hearted person who has everything to succeed in life!

I could go on and on and fill this post with compliments after compliments but there’s no need for that as everyone who knows him, knows it well the kind of person he is. He’s just full of charisma and goodness and I am blessed to know and have this Kevin in my life!

KevsterYou know when someone is so selfless that when they really care about you, even being far away, busy and/or tired, they will still make time to make sure they’re still part of your life? Take interest in your affairs and goals/ambitions in life, be there as a caring friend and comfort you with talks that you can only have with your best friend? He’s that kind of person!

Kevin is one of the busiest person I know: he works, was finishing his massive thesis for his Engineering title which very much took his entire life during the last 6 months, plays football, surfs and also has his own social life back in Gran Canaria. But he still makes time to spend a few hours to Skype me. Such a beautiful soul this guy is!

And not because he feels obliged to, given our past history together but because he cares! And surely, you would know when someone truly cares about you, am I right? We are much closer as friends now than we ever were before! And, his good looks are just a bonus *cough cough*. All the success he is experiencing and will experience from now on it’s all thanks to his great character and hard work.

Some people you just know were born to achieve grand things, to change the world somehow, and Kevin is one of them! He just never gives up and he never lets anyone give up on achieving their goals. Ambitious – yes he is but never greedy because given his grounded upbringing, he stays true to himself.

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Oh dear, I did fill this post with compliments… But that only goes to show the type of person he is! I mean how many girls have you heard or seen writing about their exes like that – honouring them as if they were some sort of Thor or Hercules? I do because I was blessed for that beautiful story we had and now blessed with this great friendship that was left from it.

The last conversation we had, I became so cheesy and wished him all the best luck with all the lame lines you could ever imagine, haha! Nonetheless, I meant every single word of it! Apart from my family and best friends, I have never been happier or cared that much for someone else’s success and well being like I do for him!

Creo que ya sabes lo cuanto eres importante para mi y deseo que seas felíz y que tengas mucho pero mucho éxito, estés donde estés! Siempre te voy a tener un gran cariño y estoy segura que nuestra fuerte amistad perdurará por muchísimos y largos años, pase lo que pase. Que este triunfo sea sólo uno de muchos más por venir. Hasta pronto chico! Que todo te vaya muy bien! :*

“Happiness will follow…”

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