Officially “facebookless”

Dear all,

Such a beautiful day today, isn’t it? Sun shining days always put me in a good mood, even when I come across with many not so happy people. But then, I just take a deep breath and think “I’m not the problem, they are” and I go back smiling. :)

Here’s some positive intro for you guys! Now moving on to the subject today – Facebook.

Funny how my relationship with this social website works: it’s more of a complicated love-hate relationship. I love to hate Facebook at the same time that I hate to love it too!

I am not going to lie, Facebook is somewhat a life-saver for many, me included. As much as I adore Skype and WhatsApp, sometimes you just want to have a place where you can read friends and family’s lives, see what they are up to, how they are doing, etc. Seems like it gets harder by day for friends and family to update you with the happenings in their life either via Skype or WhatsApp. Easy would be for them to just post statuses or photographs for their friends and family to see what they are up to.

And I totally agree – it is convenient in many levels! However, not everything in and with Facebook it’s a bed of roses and there’s one thing, one major thing that worries me the most when using Facebook – my privacy.

I am no celebrity or nothing of that sort, far from that, whenever possible I like to lead my life away from the curious eyes of my neighbours, so to speak. So, privacy it’s a big deal for me! And I must admit, I am guilty to still keep those curious and not much of true and caring friends in my Facebook friends list. Not because I want to have a good number of friends on my Facebook, oh no. Only because whether I like it (them) or not, I still have to keep ‘em as my acquaintances, for many different reasons. (Look what society has done to us? All of us have been confined to keeping up with the appearances…)

And it would just make my life a lot more awkward when running into them and having to be confronted with the fact that I don’t have them on Facebook. It happened to me a couple of times and it was indeed awkward, that type of let-me-dig-a-hole-so-I-can-bury-my-head awkward. I mean, what would your response be for that? It’s not like they’ve done anything that can be considered wrong against me. They simply are nosy about my life and minding it as if what’s their own business. Like I gave them the right to have an opinion about my life and I forgot about it. And of course, making it as a conversation topic with their “neighbours” and so forth. What’s the name again? Gossip? I think so. This doesn’t make them bad people, just makes me want to avoid them… forever!

So, let’s name this whole situation a bureaucracy (overcomplicating it) for now.

You can argue that I could avoid that if I simply don’t post things on Facebook. And I agree,  this would be an option however I still want to update and share the happy moments with my (true) friends and family too! Just like they do with me on Facebook! I mean that’s what Facebook it’s all about, right? I enjoy posting random things, photographs of me and friends partying it up, without being labelled a wild child by some people and this whole thing getting to my mother’s ears (oh yeah I used to hide a few posts from my mother too!).

You could also say that I shouldn’t mind about what other people think or say about me. I don’t really, what bothers me is what I have to deal with after it has been put out there. Let me explain it better – I have many “friends” who are my mother’s friends’ children. We kind of shared a bit of common growing up environment for a while, hence having to be friends with them on Facebook.

They see something, they mention it to their friends whom I also sort of know and to their parents. I see the parents when I’m out with my mum, I greet them and they make me a topic conversation there, on the spot! Something like “Oh my daughter has mentioned that she’s seen you with a handsome guy not long ago” when all the daughter did was to see a photo of me with a male friend all aquafresh smiles on Facebook. But you know, people twist their words and who tells a tale, always adds a tail. So of course, my mum not knowing about this, and mind you she’s very Asian, once I get home she starts questioning me like a true CSI detective.

If you have an Asian mother, you would know that no matter what you say, even if it’s truer than the truth, she still won’t believe you. She will always find it more credible what that friend said and this might be due to the fact that I have limited her access to some of my posts on Facebook.. And yes, it then becomes a hassle for me. Therefore, privacy on Facebook is everything!

Especially now that she feels like she needs to be more involved in my life (more like my love life) and she feels like I am keeping her in the dark about and I quote “the most important aspects in your life, like love”. I do that, yes because my mother is Asian, she goes with the tick box system. And I am not like that at all!

Coming back to the subject, I always had to worry about my Facebook privacy settings. To the point that whenever Facebook goes through its usual changing phases, I always make sure I read the policy and updates to see if anything changed regarding to its privacy.

Last makeover it had? Well, that was a joke! Yeah it completely messed the system up! I don’t know what happened there but I was completely fine with the previous Facebook and quite frankly I saw no major changes on it now compared to the previous version. Only that it has placed some features in the other side of the screen. Oh yeah and completely messed all my privacy settings up!

I don’t know about you guys, but I was not able to select the audience for my individual posts any more, which I have been doing so far, given my situation at that time of being obliged to keep those curious people on my Facebook. Again, the whole thing where I decided to name it as bureaucracy.

And trust me, I spent a lot of time putting my privacy settings right and it just goes back to showing it to everyone! How messed up is that??

So I went That’s it! with Facebook and just deactivated my account. It’s easier right? I now can respond back saying “Oh I deleted my Facebook” to those curious eyes. The only but, of course is that it won’t be as easy to share moments with friends and family as it was before. Or even communicate with few friends since not all use Skype or WhatsApp.

I’m sure I’ll come back to it though, because as much as I hate it, I also love it so once they sort the mess up and put the privacy settings back on again, then I’ll re activate it again.

That’s it from me today!

“Happiness will follow…”